Running my race

Ookkk so here we go. This promises to have TMI ūüėĀ but I think social media needs more honesty and real moments.

Running has become such a passion of mine this past year and with it have come many new things that I had no idea about (like why so many blisters?!) and also some amazing lessons. One of them is that as your pursue something, not every time you are out there you do great. There are times where you will fail but it’s always worth it. I have a competitive personality, so every time I run I want to be better than the last time, I want to improve my time, have better form and I’m constantly trying to figure out from the last time what I did wrong, and so on. This weekend was no exception. I was determined to improve my 5K time and finish under 30 minutes. The race was through the Miami zoo which made for incredible views and chances to admire God’s creation. At one point J pointed out the lion just sitting there watching everyone run by. So beautiful!

To give you some background information, earlier in the morning I had a little bit of oatmeal, a banana, some orange slices and a little bit of water (but I had drank a lot of water all week) since I did not want to stop to go to the bathroom while running which would not help my time. Remember, this is a 5k, a 5K! I feel ridiculous taking a 5K this seriously. Some people run that as a warm up but hey everybody starts somewhere right?! Anyways, they called everyone to the starting line and did a little warm up and off we went.

Man I felt great, I didn’t want to worry about my miles too much so I just ran. J was running with me, and he was so sweet to run at my pace so we could run together. He encouraged me throughout the whole thing and told me he was going to push me at the end of the race to finish strong. Mid race I started feeling funny like something was wrong with my stomach, but I pushed through it. They had a water station around mile two and when I drank the water I felt even funnier but I was reminding myself of the 30 minute goal I had so I didn’t stop. A little while after I looked at my phone and saw that we were at mile 2.54 and I was telling myself that I couldn’t stop that I needed to go. I felt as if my body didn’t have enough fuel to keep going. The feeling was so strange to me because I’ve ran more than 3 miles on a consistent basis lately and I had never felt like my body was depleted of energy after that distance. I kept going and pushing myself, and this is where the embarrassing part happened. When I was about 20 feet from the finish line whatever was going with my stomach was happening right there and then and there was not stopping and it was happening in what felt like slow motion. J turned around to see what was going on with me and trying to get me to just run fast those last 20 feet and I was telling him that I really couldn’t, and before I knew it I was throwing up in front of all those people that were waiting by the finish line (I said it was TMI). I don’t remember much of what happened next in those two minutes, I just remember looking up and looking at the face of one of the volunteers and seeing his face of complete confusion and probably disgust as he saw all this go down. Poor thing. I crossed the finish line, J holding me, and just sat on big rock and cried. I was sweating, with tears and snot on my face and feeling like a failure. It’s slightly funny now and I’m still trying to figure out what happened but man was that ugly. And humbling, or humiliating. Either one and both.

Oh and my time was 30:29.

I can’t wait to be back out there again as God is teaching me so many things through this whole running thing.


Good Friday

As I get older Good Friday means more and more to me.

In a way it feels like a contradiction between sorrow and joy, grief and gladness.

A long awaited promise. The Lamb provided.

The Man acquainted with grief who carried our sorrows.

Whenever big events of God’s story get celebrated or remembered I’m always drawn to the seemingly insignificant characters within the story whose lives intentionally or inadvertently are part of it.

I’m fascinated by the lives of people who get mentioned in the narrative only in a sentence or two but who are unquestionably changed by the events.

The night that Jesus was arrested, and the crowd had come to seize him Peter jumps out in His defense and strikes Malchus, a servant of the high priest, and cuts off his right ear. Jesus scolds Peter and tells him to put his sword away. The hour had come and the events leading to the crucifixion were quickly unfolding and that was not what His kingdom was about.

I am completely fascinated by this piece of the story as insignificant as it may seem.

I don’t know how long Malchus had been working for Caiaphas and chances are his allegiance laid with that of the high priest. If Caiaphas trusted him, he probably heard the things said about Jesus straight from those plotting to kill Him when they had gathered in the palace. They wanted to wait until after the festival to arrest Him and Malchus was probably aware of this. When Judas had kissed Jesus and Jesus is arrested Peter, with his protective way about Jesus, pulls out a sword and strikes Caiaphas’ servant and cuts off his ear. I can imagine his distress and possible terrible physical pain to see his ear no longer attached to His body. His immediate response might have been to strike back and I don’t know what the rest of the crowd might’ve done after witnessing what had just taken place. Earlier that evening Jesus had been praying in agony about¬†the things to come and came back to the disciples to wake them up so they would pray. His anguish had been such while He prayed that it caused Him to sweat blood, and even though He had prayed for the cup to pass¬†from Him, He was committed to God’s will. This makes me think that His mind was completely preoccupied by the heavy burden that now laid ahead.

This next part is what blows my mind. After Jesus chided Peter for impulsively attacking the high priest’s servant, Jesus turns around and healed his ear. The grief and sorrow that weighted on His shoulders did not stop him from making sure Peter remembered what they stood for, but also restoring the damage to his enemy. He laid His hands on Malchus’ ear and grows/gives him a new ear. He closed the wound and healed him. I’m completely speculating now, but I imagine that this caused havoc in this guy (not to mention that heeellooo! everyone just watched Jesus put an ear back on this guy and probably were like wwhaat?!?). The very man that he was being paid to arrest restored his damaged body. The very man he had been paid to seize and deliver to the high priest had given him back what one could say he rightly deserved taken away. He must’ve replayed that instant in his mind over and over later that night and maybe he said to himself that Jesus truly is the Son of God. I’m pretty sure he was never the same.

THIS. BLOWS. MY. MIND. In a thousand pieces blown. It says so much about Jesus’ character. SO MUCH.

This story really is a small part of the most important story. It gets lost because the crucifixion is the most important thing being told here but I absolutely love it. ¬†I’m amazed at so many things in this passage.

Grateful to be a part of His story and for His infinite care about ours.

Yesterday grief was but our hope is anchored in what tomorrow will bring.


Unfinished to-do lists

I have yet to be committed to something that I actually finish. I feel like I don’t finish a lot of ¬†projects I start, yet they are always in the back of my mind in some imaginary to-do list. It’s the Type A, overachiever in me who wants to make everything into deadlines and achievable task-like goals that you check off. Blogging shouldn’t be that. Blogging should just be like an old book that you just open whenever and flip through it and find something new every time. Sometimes I sit and want to write something and then delete it because of silly reasons. I just want to blog to see where life was when I wrote this or that, but not as another task to finish. Sometimes I want to write more about where I am in life but this “my life on the internet for everyone to read” it’s a scary business. My hat off to people who get thousands of readers and are genuine and true and raw about what they write and put it online for anyone to read. There are no thousands of readers here and I’m not really writing about anything too personal… Actually I feel like I’m just rambling right now but I want to write because I want to remember and cherish and revisit. I want to write just because. I want to write because God is constantly changing, renewing and talking. I want to write because nothing remains after someone is gone, just what they said, did and wrote.

Here’s to another blog post not because it was item 3 on my to-do list but because I simply just wrote. Happy weekend!


Happy Birthday Mommy!¬†I’m so grateful to have you! You are incredibly sweet, loving and godly and you are amazingly talented. Happy Birthday! I hope your day was as wonderful as you are! I love you!


I’ve been meaning to post this pictures for the longest! I’m a total failure! But here they are

Leo is so beautiful! One afternoon we  just went to the park and snapped some pictures of each other just for fun and to learn more with our little cameras.

Leo really is incredibly beautiful and sweet! A blessing in some many ways!

To see them all just click on the first little image and you can see them all bigger! Happy Week!


Love Grows

Somewhere somebody grew this coffee beans, processed them and brought them here. Somewhere somebody thought of this coffee shop and brought that idea to being. God in some time thought of you and then me, and I absolutely love sharing what came to be of those coffee beans and the coffee shop idea and of you and me.